Science is Looking Into It
Keen-eyed artist early warning system for cosmic misalignment.
Have you ever woken up, and the world felt a little off-kilter? Just a little? That’s how it was for me today, just a little skewed. The tiniest bit of shimmy in the Universe. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way, but it is the first time I have actual proof that the world actually has a noticeable speed wobble or something is amiss.
Nearly every single picture hanging in our house is a few degrees crooked, and I’m positive they weren’t like that yesterday. Because of my work as a designer, I have sensitivity when it comes to misaligned things, so I assure you I would know. I can tell you when something is one-pixel off alignment on screen — yes, I might struggle with commas and squinting-modifiers, but when it comes to spatial relationships I’m a Pixel Whisperer. Anyway, yesterday every picture was square and level, today they are not.
I have straightened four pictures so far, and that was just upstairs.
Everywhere I go in the house, the pictures are just a little off — it’s like Earth tapped the brakes because Mars was riding its ass on the Trans Canada Highway. A cosmic brake check has occurred, and I don’t know who to report this to, so I’m telling you.
Does “Mars is in retrograde” just mean it’s tailgating?
For Science and future generations looking into this, I’d like to state for the record that sometime between 10 PM MST March 7, 2022, and 6 AM MST March 8, 2022, “something” happened.
So far as I can tell, only pictures on the north or south-facing walls have been altered— only pictures that would be affected by a west-to-east brake check are misaligned. All pictures on the west and east walls are normal, so we know the brake check wasn’t north-to-south. You’re welcome, Science!
So, if you are feeling a little off today, there is a reason, and I’m sure after reading this, Science will be looking into it.
